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With high turnover and the constant hustle of filling positions, too many staff are thrown in front of kids with little to no preparation. We wouldn't hand someone a lesson plan and wish them luck—so why do we do it with afterschool staff?
Bringing on new afterschool staff is always exciting. Fresh faces, new energy, and the chance to shape how young people experience their out-of-school hours. But let’s be honest—onboarding often turns into a checklist of policies, licensing requirements, and how to submit hours. Necessary? Absolutely. But enough? Not even close.
Afterschool programs are human work. That means onboarding can’t just focus on logistics—it has to help staff show up as calm, confident, connected adults. Because the truth is: the kids deserve trained adults, and the adults deserve training that helps them make a real impact.
With high turnover and the constant hustle of filling positions, too many staff are thrown in front of kids with little to no preparation. We wouldn't hand someone a lesson plan and wish them luck—so why do we do it with afterschool staff?
That’s where eLearning comes in.
Behavior challenges? Stressful transitions? Meltdowns (from kids and adults)? These are the real moments staff face on day one. A strong onboarding process has to include tools for regulation, relationship-building, and responsive behavior strategies—not just rules and routines.
eLearning makes it possible to build this in. With well-designed modules, new team members can learn what to say when a kid shuts down, how to reset after a hard moment, and what it looks like to show up with presence and care—even on a rough day.
Afterschool staff come from all kinds of schedules—college students, part-time professionals, parents. Coordinating live training sessions for everyone? Nearly impossible. eLearning lets people learn at their own pace, on their own time, and in bite-sized pieces that actually stick.
No more three-hour trainings crammed into a lunch break. Instead, people get what they need, when they need it. That’s not just convenient—it’s respectful.
One of the biggest headaches in training is the inconsistency. Depending on who’s doing the onboarding, some staff get gold-standard support, and others get... a tour of the supply closet and a staffing schedule.
eLearning levels the playing field. Everyone gets the same essential info, in the same approachable way—with space to reflect and apply it to real life. It helps build a shared language, a shared culture, and a sense that we’re in this together.
Let’s face it: afterschool budgets are tight. Training days, subs, printed materials—it adds up fast. With eLearning, you invest once and reuse forever. That means your training dollars go further, and you can redirect funds to other priorities—like field trips, family nights, or hiring extra hands during the busy season.
Good eLearning isn’t boring. Done right, it includes real stories, short videos, interactive moments, and scenarios that reflect the actual challenges of the job. Think: “What do you do when a 4th grader won’t come inside?” or “How do you calm yourself before reacting to a tough moment?”
When staff feel seen in the training content, they’re more likely to stay engaged, retain what they learn, and feel more prepared for the moments that matter most.
Bottom Line: Human Work Requires Human Training
Onboarding shouldn’t just be about checking boxes. It’s the first chance we have to shape how staff feel about the job—and how they show up for kids.
eLearning helps us deliver the kind of training that sticks: real tools for real people doing real work. Because when we give adults what they need, they’re better equipped to give kids what they need. And that’s the kind of ripple effect we’re here for.
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In the afterschool world, it’s easy to slip into a scarcity mindset. We’re used to doing more with less. The needs are endless, the budgets are tight, and the staffing pool is shallow. Scarcity can start to feel like our only option.
I’ve understood the word scarcity for a long time—but I didn’t fully realize how deeply it shaped my thinking until recently.
Recently, Amy and I were in a meeting with another organization about a potential collaboration. The conversation turned to money and profit-sharing. That’s when it happened: I shifted into scarcity. Amy, meanwhile, leaned into abundance.
We said almost the same thing—but from opposite perspectives. I was protective and cautious, thinking in terms of limits and competition. Amy was open, curious, and collaborative. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why did I default to fear while she stayed rooted in possibility?
It was a wake-up call.
Of course, we’ve had different life experiences that shaped our default settings. But my reaction came from old stories, not the actual moment we were in. And I realized—I’m not the only one.
In the afterschool world, it’s easy to slip into a scarcity mindset. We’re used to doing more with less. The needs are endless, the budgets are tight, and the staffing pool is shallow. Scarcity can start to feel like our only option.
But here’s the truth: a scarcity mindset might be common, but it’s not inevitable. And it’s not the only way.
An abundance mindset can change everything.
Scarcity narrows our vision. It makes us focus on what’s missing instead of what might be possible. But when we shift toward abundance, we open the door to creative thinking, innovation, and growth.
Afterschool programs are some of the most resourceful places I know. When we believe in possibility, we start to see unexpected partnerships, repurpose what we already have, and try things we haven’t tried before.
As Harvard Business Review notes, an abundance mindset fuels innovation and problem-solving. That’s what kids need from us—and what we need from ourselves.
Scarcity makes us guard our turf. Abundance invites us to share it.
When we’re stuck in scarcity, we see other programs or partners as competition. But when we shift to abundance, we ask different questions: How can we support each other? What do we each bring to the table?
The Stanford Social Innovation Review found that organizations with an abundance mindset build stronger, more effective partnerships. That’s because they focus on shared goals—not on who gets the bigger slice of the pie.
You can feel the difference in a program that operates from abundance. The energy is lighter. There’s more creativity, more ownership, and more hope.
When teams believe there’s enough—enough time, enough support, enough opportunity—they show up differently. Staff are more engaged. Young people feel more secure. Everyone is less likely to burn out. And we show up as our best for kids.
The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science links an abundance-focused culture to higher job satisfaction and deeper investment. That’s what we all want for our teams—and it starts with how we think.
Scarcity prepares for the worst. Abundance prepares for what’s next.
Afterschool programs face real challenges—and they’re not going away anytime soon. But an abundance mindset builds resilience. It helps us adapt, recover, and reimagine. It helps us see roadblocks as learning moments, not dead ends.
Psychology Today explains that when we focus on what’s possible—even in tough times—we bounce back faster and stronger. Abundance isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff. It’s about believing we have what it takes to meet it.
The Bottom Line
Shifting from scarcity to abundance is more than just positive thinking. It’s a practical, powerful shift that can transform how we work, how we lead, and how we show up for kids.
In a field where “not enough” is often the norm, choosing abundance is an act of courage. But it’s one worth taking.
Let’s not just get by. Let’s build something bigger—together.
St. Vrain sought a professional development solution that was engaging, practical, and directly relevant to the unique challenges of afterschool programming.
The Flourish Lab is dedicated to enhancing the effectiveness of afterschool programs by providing comprehensive onboarding, training, and professional development for staff. Our approach combines an engaging e-learning platform with in-person training sessions, focusing on practical strategies and social-emotional learning to foster meaningful connections between educators and students. By equipping afterschool professionals with the tools and knowledge they need, The Flourish Lab aims to create enriching environments where both staff and students can thrive.
St. Vrain Valley School District, situated in the Northern Metro area of Denver, Colorado, serves over 2,400 children across 31 OST sites with a mission to enrich the lives of children and families in safe and welcoming environments. This case study explores the impact of The Flourish Lab's training on St. Vrain's afterschool staff and how a shift from passive training to engaged development led to more confident educators, stronger team dynamics, and a better experience for students.
St. Vrain’s OST program operates with over 200 staff members whose goal is to help every child—and staff member—flourish. Before partnering with The Flourish Lab, staff faced several key challenges:
“It definitely helps to even just take a couple deep breaths before you walk through the door. How you come in really sets the tone for your staff and your kids.” – Trish
St. Vrain needed a training solution that validated these experiences, empowered staff with actionable tools, and renewed their passion for youth development.
St. Vrain adopted a blended learning approach that combined The Flourish Lab’s e-learning platform with targeted in-person training, addressing both logistical and emotional needs of staff.
The platform provided structured, self-paced modules tailored to afterschool environments. Staff could engage with the content independently while accommodating their unique schedules and learning styles. Key modules focused on emotional regulation, student engagement, intentional planning, and building trusting relationships. The tone was accessible and affirming, ensuring every staff member felt seen in their daily experience.
“It wasn’t one of those things where you just kind of sort of fall asleep and hit the next button. It really kept me focused on what they were trying to teach.” – Tarah
Following each module, group discussions were held to reflect, share insights, and brainstorm applications. These conversations deepened understanding and fostered team connection. Reflection wasn’t just encouraged—it was embedded into the learning process.
In-person sessions were designed to build on e-learning content and dive into the challenges staff were experiencing in real time. These workshops emphasized emotional intelligence, team-building, and leadership. The sessions were dynamic and human-centered, encouraging participants to bring their full selves to the room.
“They really make you feel and think about things. Everyone leading these sessions shares and is vulnerable, and that makes a huge difference.” – Donna
The interactive format encouraged vulnerability, reflection, and problem-solving—creating space for growth, connection, and skill-building. Facilitators modeled presence and empathy, encouraging a culture of authenticity and curiosity.
The Flourish Lab also created a leadership track for Site Leads and Coordinators, focused on developing:
This series equipped leaders to show up as their best selves, support their teams, and create stronger site cultures..
“It helped us grow as a team… we’re not fighting against each other anymore. The kids feel more calm and at ease with us.” – Leadership team member
The partnership between The Flourish Lab and St. Vrain School District has resulted in significant improvements in staff engagement, teamwork, and overall program effectiveness. Here are the most notable successes:
Staff reported feeling more connected to the training content and more confident applying strategies to their daily routines. The training encouraged agency, curiosity, and reflection. Staff were more likely to take ownership of their professional development and show up with purpose.
“One of my team members was very disorganized—it was one of her first classes. Then she did the Flourish Lab on planning. The very next time, she came in totally organized, and ran the entire thing perfectly. Huge difference.” – Leadership team member
With tools to build connection and trust, staff were more equipped to engage even the most withdrawn or challenging students. They gained strategies for validation, presence, and relationship-building that created more consistent, nurturing environments.
Shared language and training improved collaboration and reduced friction. Staff were more willing to discuss challenges, offer support, and share ideas. The team dynamic shifted from fragmented to unified.
“I feel like my staff is more present with the kids during program, because they’ve planned everything ahead of time. When they go into program, it’s like — game on. They’re 100% with the kids.” – Leadership team member
Training helped staff navigate behavior challenges, plan effectively, and maintain composure in tough situations. Emotional resilience became a shared value. Staff were able to anchor in their "why" even during stressful days.
Intentional planning reduced chaos during transitions and helped create more consistent environments for students. Sites that once struggled with unpredictability reported smoother flow and increased student engagement.
Perhaps most notably, training was no longer seen as a task to complete—but as an opportunity to grow. Staff described the sessions as refreshing, validating, and directly applicable to their work.
“They are sessions that actually add value—not just checking a box. They’re engaging, realistic, and things I will actually use in my program.” – Donna
Other OST programs can learn from St. Vrain’s approach:
The Flourish Lab’s partnership with St. Vrain School District demonstrates the transformative power of intentional professional development rooted in emotional intelligence and real-world application. By equipping OST staff with tools for self-awareness, planning, communication, and leadership, St. Vrain has cultivated stronger teams, calmer classrooms, and more connected student relationships.
“Think of yourself as someone coming in and making a difference for all of these students. Be prepared. Be ready. Be engaged. Have fun.” – David
When adults feel seen, supported, and equipped, they show up differently. They build community. They lead with empathy. They help young people flourish.
We’d love to help your team do the same.
Young people’s behavior can vary from exhausted to exhausting, with all manner of possibilities in between. This unpredictable nature creates a consistent desire for behavior management strategies from OST professionals.
My three daughters often go on trips to friends or family houses without me or my wife present. Inevitably they come back and we hear how amazing and respectful they are. Now, I believe this is true. I also wonder where that behavior is at our house. My kids often debate with us, have big feelings, and fight with each other… a lot. I used to think that this was a sign that they didn’t respect us as parents, or that I was doing something wrong. What if it has nothing to do with lack of respect and everything to do with an abundance of emotional safety. My children know they can be everything they are and everything they are not with us. So, they do. We get to experience all of the bits of life with our children because we have created a safe space for them to exist.
Afterschool programs are where children gather after a long day of structured learning, social jostling and energy expulsion. Young people’s behavior can vary from exhausted to exhausting, with all manner of possibilities in between. This unpredictable nature creates a consistent desire for behavior management strategies from OST professionals. However, what if we shift perspectives to the thought that these very issues could illuminate something quite positive: a safe environment where belonging and positive adult relationships are present.
Afterschool programs are communities where children can unwind, socialize, and explore their interests in a more relaxed setting. The presence of behavior issues, whether they involve conflicts, big emotions, or even quieter displays of discomfort, often indicate that children feel a level of emotional safety. Young people often live in a world of adult power, where it is safer for them to suppress their feelings. When we release the need for behavior management strategies and instead focus on practices that allow for youth voice, encourage conversation, and move away from adult power, we provide a safe space for emotional expression. When a child feels safe enough to display authentic emotions, it demonstrates that they trust the environment and the adults present enough to show their true emotions.
Authenticity is a trait often undervalued in traditional educational settings. Conformity, standards and pressure can start to chip away at a young person’s individuality. Afterschool programs that view challenging behaviors as a part of the growth process encourage children to be true to themselves. Authenticity boosts self-esteem and nurtures a sense of belonging in your programs.
When we release the need for behavior management strategies, we can instead present valuable opportunities for learning and growth. The presence of conflicts and emotional outbursts gives children a chance to develop critical skills in emotional regulation, conflict resolution, and empathy. These skills are not only pivotal for their social development but also for their future success in navigating relationships and challenges in adulthood.
The way adults respond to behavior issues is important for relationship-building as well. These responses create the community within the afterschool program. When educators and program leaders approach these moments with empathy, patience, and a focus on understanding rather than anger, they foster a supportive community where children learn that their emotions are valid and their concerns are heard.
While the desire for behavior management strategies may never go away, how we approach the actual behavior can change. While it is understandable that challenging behaviors can feel “bad” or “wrong,” what if the presence of these behaviors is actually a sign of a healthy and nurturing environment? What if it meant children feel safe to exhibit authentic emotions and feelings? What if it showed they are not only learning essential life skills but also benefiting from the supportive community that surrounds them?
As educators and caregivers, we have a choice. We can approach these situations with dread and a feeling of disrespect. Or, we can embrace these moments as opportunities for growth and a sign that children can flourish emotionally, socially, and academically in your program. What if we did not see youth behaviors as problems to be solved and controlled? What if instead we viewed these same behaviors as signs of a program's success in creating an environment where children feel safe to show their true emotions. By using empathy and understanding as our go-to behavior management strategies, we can ensure that afterschool programs continue to serve as invaluable spaces where children thrive.
A lot of emphasis has been placed on fostering Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) in children. But, who is going to model the behavior for them? The adults! This makes it equally important for the adults in these settings to develop their own SEL skills.
In the energetic environment of afterschool programs, staff play a crucial role in shaping the experiences and development of the children they serve. A lot of emphasis has been placed on fostering Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) in children. But, who is going to model the behavior for them? The adults! This makes it equally important for the adults in these settings to develop their own SEL skills. Being intentional about Adult SEL training programs can lead to better outcomes for both staff and young people. Let’s explore why SEL is vital for adults working in afterschool programs, and how it can enhance their professional and personal lives.
SEL is the process through which individuals acquire and apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions. Originally developed for educational settings to support children's development, SEL has proven to be equally beneficial for adults. The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) is a leading organization that promotes SEL initiatives, highlighting its importance across all age groups, including school staff. For more detailed information, you can refer to CASEL’s comprehensive overview of research on SEL (CASEL).
SEL helps adults manage stress, anxiety, and other emotions, enhancing their overall emotional well-being. Afterschool staff often face unpredictable situations like being understaffed, strong youth emotions, changes to schedules and so many more. Having strong SEL skills enables staff to navigate these challenges more effectively.
Positive relationships are everything in an afterschool program. Just one positive relationship can determine whether a child thrives or struggles in the afterschool environment. SEL helps adults understand how to build relationships with young people, caregivers and their co-workers. They learn to better communicate and manage inevitable conflict.
SEL contributes to professional success by improving leadership skills, teamwork, and workplace dynamics. For afterschool staff, these skills are crucial in creating a positive and collaborative work environment, which directly impacts the quality of their programs.
At The Flourish Lab we have had the opportunity to visit countless afterschool programs. The programs where we observe the most engaged young people are the programs where the staff is engaged and staff dynamics are positive.
SEL promotes personal growth and self-improvement through increased self-awareness and better decision-making. Staff who engage in SEL practices are more likely to reflect on their experiences, learn from them, and continuously improve both personally and professionally. SEL training leads to learning that can be used in all areas of life, not just the workplace.
Engaging in SEL practices can reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and burnout. For afterschool staff, this means being better equipped to handle the demands and often chaotic nature of their job working with young people while maintaining their own mental health and wellness. Mitigating burnout is vital in an industry where turnover is already a common challenge.
There is a strong connection between emotional well-being and physical health. Reduced stress levels and improved emotional regulation can lead to better overall health. And when we feel better, we are more likely to show up as our best…. Or imply to show up at all!
SEL helps adults achieve a better work-life balance by managing time and stress effectively. This balance is crucial for afterschool staff, who need to juggle both the time and emotional demands of their job with everything in their personal lives. The often chaotic and stressful environment of an afterschool program can tend to take a toll on personal lives when those lines get crossed. We often ask participants in our workshops to raise their hand if they have ever taken their workplace stress out on the people they love the most in their personal lives. Almost everyone raises their hand.
SEL skills build resilience, helping adults cope with challenges and setbacks. It is common to experience challenges in an afterschool program. It is emotional work that is often unpredictable; no two days are the same. Resilient staff are more likely to persevere through difficult situations and continue to provide high-quality care and support to their students.
Introduce mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and mindful walking. These practices can help afterschool staff stay present and focused, reducing stress and enhancing their ability to support students. Many mindfulness strategies only take a few minutes but can make a big difference.
Encourage staff to recognize when they begin to feel stressed during their afterschool program. Encourage them to pause before that stress turns into reactionary behavior that will have a negative effect on those around them. Introduce strategies for managing emotions, such as engaging in a breathing exercise, talking with a trusted co-worker, and getting a breath of fresh air. These, and other techniques can help staff navigate the emotional demands of their job more effectively and maintain calm and well-being.
Suggest and engage in activities that foster empathy and improve social skills, such as active listening exercises, validation skills, and storytelling. These skills are essential for building strong relationships with colleagues and students.
Encourage ongoing learning and self-reflection through books, workshops, webinars, and self-assessment tools. This continuous development ensures that staff are always improving their SEL skills and applying them in their work.
One of the significant benefits of incorporating SEL into afterschool staff training is the potential reduction in the need for traditional behavior management strategies. Traditional behavior management techniques often focus on control and compliance, which can overlook the deeper needs and individual differences of students. By equipping staff with SEL skills, we can create an environment where students feel understood, valued, and supported. This proactive approach addresses the root causes of behavior, fostering a positive climate where behavior issues are less likely to arise.
Investing in Adult SEL training for afterschool staff is a win-win-win situation. It enhances the well-being and effectiveness of the adults, fosters a positive and collaborative team culture, and creates a nurturing environment for the youth they serve. By prioritizing SEL, afterschool programs can ensure that both staff and students thrive.
Traditional behavior management systems rely on control and compliance. Discover why they fall short—and how modern, relationship-centered alternatives better support students.
I remember when my youngest son was in 1st grade. We went to back-to-school night where the teacher showed us a chart like the one pictured above. I remember having a visceral dislike of that chart. I also remember hoping my child never ended up on the bottom. He was a “spirited” child, so I could immediately imagine all the behaviors that would land him in trouble.
The chart was anxiety-producing for me as the parent. I can’t imagine how it feels for young people.
This experience stayed with me—and shaped how I view behavior management systems today.
I’ve spent years working with adults in both day schools and afterschool settings. Time and time again, I’m asked to provide behavior management training. But I’ve come to learn that what people really want isn’t another chart or system. They want ways to help young people build the skills to manage their own behavior—not just comply, but truly understand themselves.
Behavior management systems are structured approaches designed to promote positive behavior and address challenging behaviors in youth settings. These systems typically include rules, procedures, and reward/punishment mechanisms—such as clip charts, color-coded ladders, or token economies.
The intention is often to maintain order. But the foundation of these systems is built on control and compliance, not connection or understanding.
For a broader definition, see this overview from Understood.org on how behavior systems have been traditionally implemented in schools.
The very term “behavior management” suggests shaping behavior to fit adult expectations. This idea stems from behaviorism, a 100-year-old theory that suggested all behavior could be conditioned through rewards and punishments. Psychologist John Watson famously said:
“Any person, regardless of their background, can be trained to act in a particular manner given the right conditioning.”
How does it make you feel when you read that?
This view ignores the why behind behavior. It overlooks trauma, sensory needs, emotional regulation, and basic human complexity.
Example:
A child who keeps interrupting might be labeled disruptive and punished. But a closer look might reveal anxiety, a lack of attention at home, or a need for sensory input. Addressing the root cause—rather than silencing the symptom—leads to real change.
Learn more in our blog on de-escalation strategies for students, which focuses on understanding behavior through calm, supportive approaches.
“Management” implies a top-down relationship: the adult holds power, the child complies. This dynamic stifles voice, autonomy, and trust.
Instead, we should partner with young people—listen, collaborate, and build mutual respect.
Example:
If a child refuses to participate in a group activity, the “manager” approach may punish them. A collaborative approach might ask, “What’s going on for you today?” The adult and child can then find a solution together—like offering a different role or checking in privately.
This aligns with the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model developed by Dr. Ross Greene, which encourages solving problems with children, not for them.
Traditional systems often use rewards and consequences to reinforce behavior. These tactics may drive short-term compliance—but they don’t build intrinsic motivation or emotional skills.
Example:
A student might earn a sticker for staying quiet during group time. But what happens when the sticker is gone? Do they understand why self-regulation matters? Instead of bribing or threatening, we can help youth explore the impact of their behavior and make new choices.
Edutopia explains why charts and rewards often backfire and how they can shame children rather than teach them.
Behavior management systems are typically one-size-fits-all—but no two children are the same. Kids differ in temperament, background, culture, and capacity. A universal system often punishes difference rather than supporting it.
Example:
Two children throw tantrums. One is reacting to trauma; the other is bored and disengaged. If both receive the same consequence, neither gets the support they need. In contrast, a relationship-based approach tailors support to each child’s context.
This kind of individualization is at the heart of Social Emotional Learning (SEL), which focuses on meeting young people where they are.
Instead of traditional behavior management systems, we advocate for relationship-driven, emotionally intelligent approaches—ones rooted in SEL and real human connection.
These alternatives focus on:
Want to dig deeper? Learn how SEL supports adults too—because staff mindset and emotional awareness are essential to creating safe, effective environments.
Many of us were raised in systems that prioritized compliance, obedience, and fear of punishment. It’s no surprise that we unconsciously recreate those dynamics with the young people we serve.
But we can unlearn. We can choose empathy over control, curiosity over correction.
And when we do, we don’t just change outcomes—we change lives.
Behavior management systems may offer structure—but they often sacrifice empathy, equity, and connection. It’s time we move beyond managing behavior to supporting the whole child.
At The Flourish Lab, we help adults unlearn outdated approaches and build skills that foster positive youth development. When we replace control with care, students don’t just behave better—they thrive.
Looking to transition away from traditional behavior systems?
We offer customized training and professional development designed to help your team implement modern, relationship-based approaches that truly work. Contact us or explore our homepage to learn more.
Inspired planning involves designing afterschool programs with the goal of engaging young people in meaningful and enjoyable activities. The goal is to create an environment where kids feel motivated.
I began my journey in out-of-school time almost 28 years ago. I was a late summer hire and had NO CLUE what I was doing. I only knew that I wanted to help create good summer memories for kids.
I vividly remember my first week. I spent hours looking through activity books to create my lessons. I felt really good about all the things we were going to do together.
My second week I had the opportunity to lead my first activity. Each staff member gave an "infomercial" about their activity after which the young people would choose what they wanted to do. I eagerly promoted my paper bag puppets. As the young people began to disperse, I sat there alone. No one came to my table. It felt awful.
Finally, after all the other activities were full, about 10 kids came to do my activity. It was clear from the beginning that they did not want to be with me. They were distracted, had looks of disappointment on their faces, and they were focused more on what the other groups were doing than on making their puppets.
I barely survived the hour activity block. I spent more time trying to keep control over the group than engaging with them.
Once the activity was over, one of the girls stayed at my table and told me "I only came to your activity because the others were full." Though I appreciated her honesty in hindsight, my heart sank. Seeing that she was eager to be honest with me, I asked her, “What feedback do you have for me so that in the future more kids WANT to come to my activity instead of HAVING to come to my activity?”. Without hesitation, she asked me a couple questions that have stuck with me for the past 28 years:
“Do you know what kids actually like to do?”
“Did you ask any of us what our interests were?”
Even though I couldn’t put a name on it at the time, I began to see the value of inspired planning. Thoughtful planning by afterschool staff fosters positive youth behavior and naturally reduces our perceived need for behavior management strategies. Thoughtful planning also shows young people that we care.
Let’s break down how inspired planning works and why it can be more effective than a focus on traditional behavior management strategies.
Inspired planning involves designing afterschool programs with the goal of engaging young people in meaningful and enjoyable activities. The goal is to create an environment where kids feel motivated.
They feel valued and excited to participate. Here’s what inspired planning typically includes:
Inspired planning in afterschool programs is about creating an environment where young people naturally thrive. In these environments positive behavior comes from engagement and opportunity. By focusing on their interests and motivations, children are more likely to be at their best. When we don’t plan effectively, young people are not engaged and naturally exhibit more challenging behaviors. Then the adults in the program start asking for more behavior management strategies.
What if we don’t actually need more behavior management strategies? What if we instead focused on bringing inspired planning to our programs? When kids are engaged, they have positive feelings, and positive feelings lead to positive behaviors.
Adults are not designing an afterschool program for kids. They are designing with them.
What we know now, though, is that these “old school” behavior management strategies can have long-term negative effects on youth. On the other hand, modern strategies that focus on social and emotional development offer a more positive and impactful approach.
I was raised by an authoritarian father. He was loud. He was erratic. And he was often angry. I was afraid of him. I remember sitting at the dinner table every night just trying to avoid his wrath. If his anger was aimed at my mom, my brother, or my sister, I would breathe a sigh of relief and retreat to my room. Much of my energy went to trying not to get in trouble. I was motivated by the fear of my dad. So I got good grades. I joined extracurricular activities at school that would keep me there into the evening. And I got really good at lying. I spent yearsworking to undo the impacts of how I grew up. I didn’t learn to be self-motivated until many years later.
We all have unique stores about our childhood and upbringing. Regardless of the specifics, in our work at The Flourish Lab we have found that most adults who work in afterschool programs were raised in schools and family environments that emphasized adult power and punitive consequences as a means for managing their behavior or “keeping them in line”. Understandably, when many of these adults begin working with youth, they model what they were taught as children.
What we know now, though, is that these “old school” behavior management strategies can have long-term negative effects on youth. On the other hand, modern strategies that focus on social and emotional development offer a more positive and impactful approach. It is important, then, to train the adults who work in afterschool programs to unlearn those outdated methods and learn a new approach.
Here’s a closer look at the consequences of outdated methods and the benefits of embracing new practices.
Outdated behavior management techniques often include approaches such as punitive discipline, authoritarian methods, and a focus on control rather than support. While these methods may seem effective in the short term (you will often see an immediate shift in behavior), they can have significant long-term negative effects on youth.
In contrast, contemporary behavior management strategies that focus on social and emotional development offer a more holistic approach to supporting youth. These methods emphasize building positive relationships, teaching emotional regulation, and fostering a supportive environment.
Research: According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), programs that incorporate social and emotional learning (SEL) significantly improve students’ emotional regulation, social skills, and academic performance (CASEL).
A study published in the Journal of Emotional and Behavioral Difficulties (September, 2023) highlights that young people themselves find punitive practices to be ineffective and instead share what promotes prosocial behavior: “adults who listen, understand and collaborate with them”.
The long-term negative effects of outdated behavior management techniques can be profound, impacting children’s emotional well-being, academic success, and social relationships. By adopting modern strategies focused on social and emotional development, afterschool programs can create a more supportive and effective environment. These methods not only address immediate behavioral concerns but also contribute to the holistic development of youth, setting them up for long-term success.
Embracing these approaches can lead to a more positive and enriching experience for both children and staff, ensuring that afterschool programs fulfill their vital role in youth.
Learn effective de escalation strategies for students and how afterschool staff can build safer, more supportive environments through training and practice.
Afterschool programs are vibrant, dynamic spaces—but they can also be unpredictable. With transitions, high energy, and diverse student needs, conflict is inevitable. When emotions run high, how adults respond matters.
That’s why understanding and using de escalation strategies for students is essential—not just for safety, but for fostering trust, belonging, and emotional growth.
De-escalation is the process of intentionally reducing the intensity of a conflict or emotionally charged situation. It’s about helping young people regain control—not through force or punishment, but through understanding, calm presence, and clear boundaries.
Rather than reacting with authority or control, de-escalation invites adults to respond with empathy, patience, and skill.
For a deeper look at the science behind de-escalation, check out this resource from the Crisis Prevention Institute on verbal and non-verbal techniques used in student support settings.
Afterschool staff are often the first line of defense when tension arises. Unlike classrooms, where structure is more rigid, afterschool spaces often have looser routines and more social interaction. That makes them fertile ground for both connection and conflict.
Unfortunately, most staff don’t receive consistent training in how to respond when a student is agitated, overwhelmed, or disruptive. Without the right tools, even well-meaning adults can escalate situations unintentionally.
Investing in de escalation strategies for students equips staff to:
According to Edutopia, the presence of calm, trained adults is one of the most effective ways to support students in distress.
Here are some practical, research-informed strategies that afterschool staff can use in real time:
Kids mirror adult emotions. If we meet their chaos with our own, escalation is almost guaranteed. Pause, take a breath, and speak slowly and softly.
Instead of jumping in with solutions, reflect what the student is saying.
“You’re upset because you feel left out, right?”
This builds trust and lowers defenses. Learn more from Psychology Today’s article on de-escalation and active listening.
Let them know their feelings are real and understandable—even if their actions aren’t okay.
“It’s okay to feel angry. Let’s talk about how we can handle that safely.”
When kids feel out of control, offering choices gives them a sense of agency.
“You can sit quietly with me for a few minutes, or you can take a walk with an adult.”
Shift focus away from the problem behavior without making it a power struggle.
“Let’s help me set up the game table—could really use your help.”
Help students learn tools like deep breathing, counting, or taking space. Over time, they’ll internalize these strategies. This aligns with Social Emotional Learning (SEL) principles, which emphasize emotional regulation and responsible decision-making in both students and staff.
Boundaries don’t have to be harsh. Say what you need clearly and kindly.
“I won’t let you hurt anyone. Let’s find a safe way to let out that frustration.”
Imagine this: A 3rd grader slams their backpack down and refuses to join the group. Instead of issuing a consequence or calling them out in front of peers, the staff member kneels down and quietly says:
“Hey, looks like something’s really bothering you. Want to take a few minutes with me over here?”
That small choice—to de-escalate rather than confront—can change the entire outcome.
To make de-escalation stick, programs should offer regular training that covers:
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network also emphasizes the importance of trauma-informed strategies as a foundational element of de-escalation, especially in communities impacted by chronic stress or adversity.
To be most effective, de-escalation training should also include space for staff to reflect on their own emotional responses. As we highlight in how SEL is just as important for adults, adults who understand and regulate their own emotional states are far better positioned to support young people through theirs.
Learning de escalation strategies for students isn’t just about crisis management—it’s about building a program culture where young people feel seen, supported, and safe.
At The Flourish Lab, we believe relationships come first. And when adults are trained to lead with empathy and presence, we don’t just reduce conflict—we create environments where all students can thrive.
Want to learn more?
We offer customized training through e-learning, live workshops, and ongoing support. Contact us to bring de-escalation training to your site—or return to our homepage to explore all we offer.
Explore how SEL professional development helps afterschool staff build stronger relationships and support youth through emotional intelligence.
In the dynamic environment of afterschool programs, fostering a supportive and nurturing learning environment is crucial for both students and staff members. Social-emotional learning (SEL) plays a pivotal role in achieving this goal. Professional development in SEL equips afterschool staff with the skills and knowledge needed to create positive, inclusive, and emotionally supportive environments. This blog post explores the importance of social-emotional learning professional development for afterschool staff and how it can transform the educational experience for all involved.
Building Competencies
SEL professional development focuses on building key competencies such as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. These competencies are essential for creating a positive school climate and fostering student well-being. According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), these competencies are foundational for both students and adults in educational settings.
Addressing Mental Health and Well-Being
Afterschool staff often face challenges related to student behavior, trauma, and stress, and deal with these challenges with far less support than teachers have during school hours. Professional development in SEL provides staff with trauma-informed strategies to support students’ mental health and well-being. By integrating SEL practices, staff can better understand and address the emotional needs of their students, creating a more supportive learning environment.
Enhancing Emotional Skills and Resilience
SEL professional development helps staff members enhance their emotional skills and resilience. By learning evidence-based SEL practices, staff can better manage their own stress and prevent burnout. This is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance and promoting overall wellness, and reducing staff turnover.
Fostering a Positive Climate
Professional development opportunities in SEL contribute to fostering a positive climate. When staff members are equipped with SEL skills, they can create a more inclusive and supportive school community. This positively impacts the learning experiences of students and improves the overall climate.
Improving Student Outcomes
Research-based SEL programs have shown to improve student outcomes, including academic performance, behavior, and social skills. When afterschool staff integrate SEL into their programs, they can better support the whole child, addressing both academic and emotional needs. This holistic approach leads to more equitable and effective educational experiences.
On-Site and Online Courses
Professional development can be delivered through various formats, including on-site workshops and online courses. These options provide flexibility for staff members to engage in SEL training at their convenience. Online courses can be particularly effective, offering accessible and comprehensive resources for learning about SEL.
The Flourish Lab, for instance, offers an experiential, online learning series designed to positively shift how adults show up for young people. Their programming includes Ignite, Explore, and Deepen workshops, which focus on building positive relationships, presence, and planning. These workshops are supported by practical toolkits, making it easier for staff to implement SEL practices effectively.
Customizable Toolkits
Providing customizable SEL toolkits can help staff members implement SEL practices effectively. These toolkits can include activities, lesson plans, and resources tailored to the unique needs of their school district or program. By having practical tools at their disposal, staff can more easily integrate SEL into their daily routines.
Continuous Learning and Support
Continuous professional learning and support are vital for the successful implementation of SEL. School leaders should prioritize ongoing professional development opportunities, including workshops, webinars, and collaborative learning experiences. This ensures that staff members stay updated on the latest SEL research and best practices.
Real-Life Examples
Many afterschool programs have successfully integrated SEL through professional development initiatives. For example, programs that have partnered with organizations like CASEL have reported significant improvements in staff and student well-being. By sharing these success stories, we can inspire other programs to invest in SEL professional development.
Social-emotional learning professional development is essential for enhancing the effectiveness of afterschool programs. By equipping staff with the skills and knowledge to foster a supportive and nurturing learning environment, we can improve student outcomes and promote overall well-being. Investing in SEL professional development not only benefits staff members but also creates a positive, inclusive school community where all students can thrive.
Afterschool staff often seek behavior management skills and training to create a positive learning environment and handle disruptive behavior effectively.
I have been facilitating workshops in youth organizations for almost 15 years. Inevitably, when organizations learn about what we do, I am asked to deliver a workshop on behavior management strategies. The perception is that challenging behaviors are what make work in afterschool programs most difficult. While there is some truth to this statement, the approach of managing behavior is outdated. Afterschool staff often seek behavior management skills and training to create a positive learning environment and handle disruptive behavior effectively.
I reject the concept of "behavior management" on principle, and here's why:
The phrase "behavior management" inherently suggests a need to control or manipulate behavior to fit a desired norm. This approach can neglect the underlying reasons behind a child's actions. Behaviors often signal unmet needs, and understanding these needs is crucial for fostering positive behavior.
Example: Imagine a child who frequently disrupts the class by speaking out of turn. Traditional behavior management might involve giving the child a warning or a timeout. However, a more understanding approach might reveal that the child is acting out due to anxiety or a need for attention. By addressing the underlying cause—perhaps by giving the child more positive attention or addressing their anxiety—the behavior can change in a more meaningful and lasting way. This shift not only improves classroom behavior management but also enhances the overall learning environment.
"Management" implies a hierarchical relationship where the adult is the manager, and the child is the subordinate. This creates a power imbalance where children lack voice and choice. Shifting the focus from management to partnership and collaboration fosters more positive, trusting, and respectful relationships between adults and young people.
Example: Consider a situation where a child refuses to participate in a group activity. A traditional approach might be to force the child to join or punish them for non-compliance. Instead, a collaborative approach would involve sitting down with the child to understand their reluctance and finding a compromise or alternative that respects the child’s feelings and autonomy, perhaps by offering them a different role in the activity that feels more comfortable. This method aligns with effective classroom management strategies that emphasize student engagement and a positive classroom environment.
Traditional behavior management strategies often rely on rewards and punishments. While these methods may yield short term compliance, they do little to instill long-term values or intrinsic motivation. Instead, if we focus on guidance and positive reinforcement, we help our young people understand the consequences of their actions, identify, and express their emotions, and develop internal regulation. Moving away from behavior management towards a more holistic approach supports children in becoming independent, thoughtful, and empathetic young people and adults.
Example: If a child completes their homework, a traditional reward-based system might give them a sticker. If they don’t, they might lose recess time. Instead, a guidance-based approach would involve discussing the importance of homework, helping the child set personal goals, and offering support to overcome obstacles, thus fostering a sense of responsibility and internal motivation. Positive reinforcement and clear expectations are essential elements of an effective classroom management system.
Every child is unique, and a one-size-fits-all approach common in behavior management strategies doesn't account for individual differences. Factors such as temperament, developmental stage, and personal experiences significantly influence behavior. By advocating for an individualized approach, we consider each child's specific context and needs.
Example: Two children might exhibit the same disruptive behavior but for very different reasons. One child might be acting out due to a difficult home environment, while another might be bored because the material is too easy for them. An individualized approach would address these distinct needs differently—perhaps through counseling for the first child and more challenging assignments for the second. This is particularly important for students with disabilities and those in special education, who often require individual behavior plans tailored to their unique needs.
As we move forward, let’s prioritize understanding, empathy, and individualized approaches over control and punishment. By focusing on the whole child and fostering positive relationships, we can create environments where all students thrive. Effective management is not about controlling behavior but about creating spaces where students feel safe, respected, and motivated to learn. This approach not only benefits the students but also enriches the learning experiences for all involved.
It is unequivocally time to retire the term "behavior management" and to release the persistent desire for behavior management strategies. Instead, let’s embrace approaches that recognize the complex, multifaceted nature of human behavior. This shift requires a process of unlearning. When I survey adults who work in afterschool programs, most were raised in environments where behavior management strategies were the norm—adults had the power. It is understandable, then, that when these same adults begin working with youth, they model what they were taught. Once they learn new mindsets and approaches, adults can begin to shift how they engage with young people.
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